Foibles

ULCER

2010-08-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

August 7th was the ULCER: Utah Lake Century Epic Ride. There were about 2100 riders and those who chose the full 111 mile distance rode around Utah lake, beginning and ending at Thanksgiving Point. Shortly into the ride I had a flat tire and a second flat before the 30 mile mark. So frustrating! At any rate I ended up chasing my team for much of the race just trying to catch up. This motivated me to skip food/water rest stops. At the point I ran out of energy and water I regretted that decision. I slowed to a crawl until the next stop where I devoured and drank everything I could see. In the end I finished and I'm hooked. I loved it! It was hard, but it didn't beat up my body like the marathon did even though it took 50% more time. Anyway, anyone wanna go for a ride?

MRJH Battle of the Bands 2010

2010-07-24T12:51:00.000-07:00

This year we played music from Cake, Queen, Better Than Ezra, and The Police. It's an incredible amount of fun.

300 Miles

2010-06-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

Pleasant Grove to Lake Powell on a bicycle. Check. It was an awesome experience to join the young men in our ward on their High Adventure.

Logan Temple

2010-05-02T12:57:00.000-07:00

It was a wonderful day with the Fugals at the Logan temple. I was asked to take my camera, so...

Winged Men

2010-02-25T19:56:00.000-08:00

I've recently come down with an obsession with flying people, so I had to make a picture of me with wings (see blog title image). It's all part of my latest nerdy endeavor: pencil and paper role playing. People with wings are cool, so I'm creating a world that includes a whole civilization of them.

The Faculty

2010-01-13T18:11:00.000-08:00

This is from Jingle Bell Rock where we played during lunch before Christmas. We aren't the best band in the universe, but it is a blast and the students get a kick out of it. The other band members are teachers who teach science, art, and history.

Stone Temple

2009-12-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

This a combination of two photos of the cement in our basement and a photo of the Mount Timpanogos temple. The final image was made of quite a few layers. I worked to integrate the textures and the architecture as a unified image. I think it's a successful composition in the end. This was made as a Christmas present for Katy, but it's no longer a secret. At any rate, I'd love some feedback.

Fairy Child

2009-12-12T10:20:00.000-08:00

Another photo experiment...

Burns and Help

2009-05-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

I have an angry red scar on my right wrist. That's not true.

I was just a wee laddie not more than two years old. I wore a beanie with a poof top and my pop-belly extended forward such that six inches of skin were visible between pant and shirt. And I was curious. Each I would watch as our dog...

Actually what I really wanna say is: I'm in a grownup rock band. It's made up of teachers from my school. This Friday we'll be performing at our school's Battle de la Bands.

And desparately we need suggestions for a band name. Any ideas?

My Art Blog

2009-04-29T10:53:00.000-07:00

I invite you all to my art blog. I'll be posting all my latest work and looking for feedback. Please share this website with anyone who may be interested. randalmarsh.blogspot.com

Purple Sweats

2009-04-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

This morning I was a little chilly so I pulled out my old Pleasant Grove Jr. High Vikings Track sweats. Wow, it had been a long time. Naturally I pulled them up too high so I would look goofy for my wife. Eventually my feet got cold and I put on some socks to keep them warm. It wasn’t long before the toe of the sock is flopping out somewhere beyond the toe of the foot. All in the right style though.

So this reminds me of the unfortunate souls back in elementary school who came to school in sweats. Now maybe this is an acceptable form of clothing nowadays, perhaps even fashionable, but in my day it was social suicide. Especially if the sweats were purple. Especially if they had a floppy edged hole on the inner left buttock. Worst case scenario: a Garfield t-shirt is tucked into sweats which are pulled up high enough to leave a front to back wedgie, floppy socks visible over the ankle, and on the foot: dual strap Velcro shoes. I’m not saying these weren’t cool people, just that if you thought they were cool people you might soon find yourself without a trading partner with whom to exchange milk for a Capri Sun.

Space Floating

2009-03-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

This is the metaphorical state of my sister and soon-to-be-brother-in-law. They are engaged, which explains something I expect. Mostly I was experimenting with some image manipulation. I made this out of a photograph of a rock I took in Midway and a pic of the two of them jumping on a trampoline from when we shot their engagements. What do you think?

The Notorious Jumping Frog of Utah County

2009-03-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

Well, thish-yer Smiley had a yaller one-eyed cow that didn’t have no tail, only just a short stump like a bannanner, and it was the milkinest thing you ever did see. A gallon in the morn, a second midday, and a lastuhn right before supper. But it was the bannanner tail that made for the mess. On last Saturday there we were camping at the local Dell when my boy scout Johnny notices a bannanner wagglin in the bush. Now Johnny, he’s hungry on account of not being able to start his own breakfast fire and he decides this banana is just his ticket for a meal. Well he grabbed that cow’s tail and you bet that Sean Hannity noticed (Sean being the cow’s name) as a tail’s not meant to be peeled. So Mr. Hannity turns full tilt backwards and Johnny’s got no sense to let go. So off goes that yaller cow dragging a boy scout across the iced snow like a moth equipped with a lightening bug.

Now there’s a cabin at the Dell that plays home to a hairless dog that looks more armadillo than canine and goes by the name Flabby Armpit. The moment Flabby catches a glimpse of Sean Hannity tailing a boy scout he leaps into the mix nippin’ at Johnny’s feet, and now he can’t let go if he wanted to.

Meanwhile at the south end of the Dell the 11th ward was holding a women’s “Retreat!” (retreat from what? I asked and was answered with a glare) and they had just finished doily-ing the picnic table for the weenie roast. Hillary Duff-Clinton is the president of the 11th Ward Society for the Relief of Women and you can bet that she knows how to toss a potty (I think she meant “throw a party”). Well Hillary looks up from the doily-lay and sees Sean Hannity careening toward her with boy-scout-johnny in tow on his yaller banana-tail and a nude Flabby Armpit in hot pursuit. Several things happened rather quickly. Ms. Duff-Clinton’s vocabulary increased dramatically. The Society stampeded. Sean Hannity tripped on a doily, Johnny became airborne, Flabby leaped to avoid collision. The nude armadillo-pup landed in Duff-Clinton’s arms. The one-eyed bovine face planted in the weenies-on-roast and the boy scout miraculously landed on a camping chair that was occupied by marshmallows. That is all.

Quotes from Art 7

2009-03-13T09:57:00.000-07:00

The students were playing some game that involved imaginary blow-darts. Here's the soundtrack:

Michael’s dead also. I’d rather die. Was it Joe? You’re so mean Joe. You might want to touch his neck. Is Mark dead? No, he’s not dead anymore. Mark just saved a person. Where’d my eraser go? I’m not even looking at you, you can’t kill me. Dead again, laugh at you. Thank you Joe. I saved him so he saved me. No, I killed you. You’re dead, you can’t talk. You said HEH! That was funny, I got you. You were looking at me, I shot you (turns head to the side). Jackson’s dead also. You didn’t say go. Nuh uh, Garrett’s dead. You can’t do nukes, only teachers can do nukes. Yeah, only Mr. Marsh can do nukes. I’m starting over. Joe, Joe, Joe. Kay, wait. Jackson, I’m not going to shoot you.

I work in a beautiful world.

Eva. Average.

2009-03-05T20:03:00.000-08:00

Eva Loddle is very average. No fancy clothes, hair highlights, or eye shadow. She’s pretty quiet in class, doesn’t really socialize with the other students a lot. She’s not really big or small, hot or cold.

Yesterday was the awards ceremony for the Mountain Ridge Jr. High Art Show. Judges from outside the school picked the winners. Eva Loddle shyly accepted third place in the category of painting. Oh, and second place in the category of painting. And first. Then she was awarded “Best of Show”. Finally to round things out, this remarkably unremarkable student was awarded the Purchase Award which means one of her paintings will hang in the Mountain Ridge student center for the rest of eternity. The gathered spectators applauded. Eva smiled. After all, the total winnings are worth around $350.

Eva first stood out to me when I caught her reading a book about Andy Warhol. For fun. Weird. The next time I raised my eyebrows was when I discovered that while at Mt. Ridge she had taken every art class known to human-kind. I didn’t even know that was possible with the limited electives jr. high students are allowed. Then again in my sculpture class she put forth more effort than about four other students put together. When I discovered that the judges had selected her three pieces as the three winners of the painting category and Best of Show I couldn’t have been happier. Good-on-ya Eva. You are far above average.

Face Shot

2009-02-27T16:20:00.000-08:00

One of the cool things about photography is its ability to capture motion. One of the cool things about being a photography teacher is showing this to students. One thing about Dwight is that he is better at hiding than deer are at vision. “Just throw this volleyball at my face and I’ll snap the photo,” I said. “Grin” said the student. The rest happened rather quickly. The ball left his hand. I pressed the shutter release button. The ball connected with the small camera. The camera left my grasp. The camera rolled gracefully through the air, strap spinning in concentric patterns. It clattered loudly against a tile floor. Batteries rolled and bounced. Forty jaws dropped. “Noooooaaugh!” the scream ripped through the air like that part on The Princess Bride where Mannenblack is getting tortured and Spaniard and Giant are wandering through a group of peasants and they stop because they hear someone screaming and Spaniard is convinced that it’s Mannenblack because Trueluv is marry Humpahdink in little lessah half-an-hour.

Cat Dooh

2009-02-27T16:16:00.000-08:00

It was first grade when I first dipped my hand into cat droppings. The prize had been strategically hidden in the sand of Central Elementary’s lower grade playground, probably by a cat with either a vendetta against children or an abnormally active metabolism. I needed to wash my hands but I was socially incapable of using a public restroom. The mere thought of using another man’s toilet…. Actually that incapability lasted until I had a driver’s license. I’m sure this has psychological significance, perhaps something to do with a furry-underweared HeMan action figure.

At any rate my hands were scrubbed in sand and then hidden in a denim jacket. Later in class my hands got sore when I sat on them through the movie we watched, post-cat-matter poisoning our classroom carpet and seasoning my skin, rear-jean-pockets creating bas-relief forms in my palms. Surly they can smell it, I thought. They must know! How can they just stare at the television like that? Who will be the first to comment on my aromatic appendages? I desperately wanted to stand straight and tall right there in the middle of Mrs. McArthur’s class and declare, It’s me! I admit it! Direct your stones toward the red head. But no one ever knew what had happened. And I could never let them know. No man wishes to live a life with the nickname Feline Fecal Phalanges.

Four Things Unrelated

2009-02-27T16:07:00.000-08:00

Pepto-Bismol paint covers a papier-mâché dancer who is being stabilized by masking tape taut-lines. Across the room Ninja Turtle-Ooze drips from the head of a blue discus thrower. An “A” student cheerfully calls from her desk, “Mr. Marsh, my guy looks like a caramel apple, am I gonna get docked points?” Yep.

“You’re probably wondering why I’m wearing a jacket,” I told my students.
“Because it’s freezing in here!” one responds.
“No, actually it’s because I forgot to put on deodorant this morning and I’m trying to hide my waftiness.”
This statement prompted three responses: “Gross!”, “Sick!”, and “I have some pear deodorant in my locker if you want to use it.” Hmm… tempting.

Todd is obsessed with anatomy and draws skeletal systems whenever possible. To Todd, “whenever possible” includes periods of time most students devote to things like taking tests, doing their work, and participating in class discussions. The other day he walked up to the an art teacher in the school and addressed him, “Disease? Er… I mean Mr. Stradley? Sorry, I was just thinking about disease.” Well that’s comforting. It was just kinda on his mind I guess. No harm, no foul.

Speaking of fowl, the counselors just brought me a new student who couldn’t handle choir. Using nothing more than lined-paper, colored pencils, and tape he has created a fleet of about twenty unique Star Wars space craft. Each is individually labeled with year, make, model, owner, gas mileage, and VIN. He tells me he saw turkeys fly across the road while he was on the bus this morning. I wonder if he likes turkeys.